


A Smackerel of Affection

by whoneedsapublisher



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 02:36:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18240674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoneedsapublisher/pseuds/whoneedsapublisher
Summary: Queen Medb relaxes with her new companion after her stressful failure in America.





	A Smackerel of Affection

**Author's Note:**

> This is a weird one. A friend suggested this pairing as a joke, and I decided to roll with it. Released for day four of a week of fics to celebrate the launch of the Studio Coattails Patreon.

Medb drew her finger across the soft plush fur and let out a contented sigh.

Truthfully, she’d been having a bad week. Well, in her perception, anyway. That was rather the trouble with being a heroic spirit. Since the Throne of Heroes existed outside of time, and the singularities were irregularities in time themselves, it was rather difficult to quantify the time between “then” and “now”. Technically, all of that had happened hundreds of years ago, but had also never happened at all. But from her personal continuuity, the events of the King of Mages’ plan to destroy the birth of America had been very recent indeed, and Medb hadn’t liked how that turned out one bit.

Although she _had_ enjoyed having Cu. Even if it was only a short while, and even if it was a twisted mockery of the real him, bedding the man who had refused her held a great deal of vicious satisfaction. And some more carnal satisfaction as well, of a rather unique flavour given his strange and monstrous body.

But that hateful little girl from Chaldea and her demi-servant had broken that toy, and chased Medb back to the Throne, leaving her to stew in limbo until she’d found herself summoned to this strange world. It was… some kind of reality marble? If you walked too far in any direction, you’d sometimes find yourself in a white void, like part of the world was just missing. Walking in one direction for a short while would eventually put you where you were “supposed” to be, often the place where you came from. As such, there was no “way out” of the small countryside location that she was in- the edges simply lead back inwards. She could see more countryside in the distance, but it was unreachable, and possibly didn’t really exist. Even making your way between the places that definitely did exist often required a short trip through the void.

It might be a servant’s noble phantasm, but how Medb could have been caught it in it from the instant she was summoned was a mystery. It seemed more likely that her contractor, who she had yet to meet, had purposefully summoned her to this world for some arcane purpose.

Medb had to admit, though, she wasn’t particularly concerned in figuring out the mystery. Because in this world, she’d met Winnie the Pooh.

Winnie the Pooh was a golem, and obviously one of a very high rank, given that he had a human-like personality and his body moved as if he was a living being despite being made of fabric. He also seemed to be able to eat, although what happened to the food he consumed was anyone’s guess. Probably converted to magical energy somehow. He was, as his other golem friends said, “a silly old bear”, but he was a wonderfully soft one. Medb was in the market for a new toy, and he definitely fit the bill.

“Mev-” He still struggled to pronounce her name, but it was cute, so she allowed it. “Are you hungry?”

“Hm? Perhaps a little, I suppose. Are you?”

“I am,” Pooh said, rubbing his stomach in his adorable fashion. “My tummy is rumbly. I think I would like a smackerel of honey…”

“Well, then, I do believe I can help with that,” Medb said, reaching over the side of the bed. The two of them were relaxing inside Medb’s chariot. It had become a habit of theirs, and Pooh’s actual bed in his quaint little house was getting less and less use. However, Pooh did keep tottering out on his ridiculous little legs to fetch honey. Well, this time Medb was one step ahead of him. She’d stored one of his pots of honey- or “hunny”, as he seemed to label all of them- by the bed along with a wooden spoon.

“Ah, honey!” Pooh said, cheerful at the prospect of his favourite gift. “I think I’ll eat just a smackerel…”

Medb had long since learned that this meant “as much honey as was in sight and probably more on top of that”.

“Say ‘ah’ Pooh,” she said cutesily, dipping the spoon into the jar and pulling out a spoonful, strands of honey lazily sliding off it back into its container. If this was a normal bed, she’d be worried about the hassle of getting honey out of the sheets, but luckily, her chariot was self-cleaning.

Pooh reached his hands up to grab the spoon, but Medb swatted them away.

“No, no, my silly little bear,” she cooed. “Let me feed you.”

“Alright,” Pooh said, settling himself into a sitting position and opening his mouth obediently. Medb slowly slipped the spoon into his mouth, smiling at the pleased look on his face as he licked the spoon clean.

“Mmm, delicious!” he said, rubbing his belly.

“Would you like some more?” Medb asked, smiling a sinister little smile as she moved to execute her plan. “Let me just- whoops!”

Medb “accidentally” spilled the honey down her top.

“Oh, darn,” she said. She didn’t bother to seem too upset about it. Pooh wouldn’t notice her poor acting.

“Oh bother,” Pooh said, frowning. “Now where am going to get more honey? Think, think, think…”

He began tapping his head with a paw, deep in thought.

“Hmmm…. I know!” Medb said. “You can lick it off me.”

She leaned back, unbuttoning her top and balancing herself on her hands.

“What a good idea!” Pooh said, leaning forward. He drew his rough tongue up the center of her chest, and Medb shivered. “Ooh, Pooh…”

“Queen Medb! There you a- oh. Gawrsh.”

In a fury, Medb spun to see who had interrupted her. In the entrance to her chariot she saw… a… dog man, a duck creature, and some kind of… poorly dressed teenager…?

“What the heck are you doing?!” the duck spluttered.

Medb frowned and clicked her fingers, her top magically reforming and banishing the honey. “None of your business, animals.”

“Animals?!” the duck repeated in a fury, stomping his foot.

“Queen Medb! We need your help!” the teenager said, gesturing passionately. As he did, she saw the command spells on his hand. Ah. In an instant, she felt the bond and realized the truth.

Letting out a sigh internally, she composed herself and rose from the bed, striding across to the entrance and giving a short bow to the boy. “Ah, Master, you’ve arrived at last,” she said. “Shall we be off, then?”

“Are you leaving, Mev?” Pooh asked, looking crestfallen.

Medb turned to him and smiled. Walking back to where he was, she leaned over and picked him up. “Don’t worry, Pooh,” she said. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Leaning in, she gave him a kiss, then held him out at arm’s length, happy to see a smile on his face again. “Until later then.”

“Goodbye, Mev!” Pooh said. “See you again.”

Carrying him to the exit, she set him down and then sat in the driver’s seat of the carriage. “Well then, Master. Shall we go?”

It would prove to be a very eventful battle that she shared with Sora and his friends. But throughout it all, what Medb remembered the most was a silly little bear with a happy smile.


End file.
